My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
