I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
