so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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