But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
