I can tuck mytits in my pants
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
apparently the secret to your success is patron
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
