You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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