That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
