Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
