I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
