Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
