He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
