i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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