tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
