is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
