And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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