At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
