if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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