I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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