no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
