shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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