So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I would ride that face into the sunset
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
