So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
