You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
