I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
