Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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