HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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