Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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