I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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