She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
