So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
