Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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