if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
They are going to name an STD after you.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
