No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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