I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
