Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
