it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
