I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
