The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
