You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
