I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
