Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize