as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
