Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
