yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
