did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
