We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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