let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
