white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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