My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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