why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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