If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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