I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
