Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
