Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
