I have demons in me.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
