I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
