fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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