Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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