bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
