508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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