so explain again why im purple
no
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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