i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
