dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
